Archive for August, 2011
Here I have made friends with llama spit! After some thought and careful reflection, I concluded that llama spit could actually be a good thing. That is, assuming it came from a llama that was comprised of multiple reservoirs of useful fluids.
You can measure one’s intolerance by playing the “make friends” game. For example, I might ask a friend (usually a girl), “Would you ever eat a spider?” The answer is most assuredly a “No”. But then the question becomes, “Under what circumstances would you eat a spider?” This begins a series of hypothetical questions until that person has “made friends” with the idea of eating a spider. We usually don’t reach that point, because the real friend will have become too annoyed in our quest for imaginary friendship.
But even if it isn’t a spider, I have found that most people need something outrageous, such as a cure for cancer, before they will eat seemingly harmless things, such as black licorice.
You Can Make Friends With Things You Don’t Like
You can play, too! It doesn’t need to be food related. Now, this might sound ridiculous, but for the sake of this example let’s say you don’t particularly care for clowns. Now, a bad cop-out “make friends” solution would be something like this:
This is a BAD solution! Try again. You can’t kill the thing or change it’s essential nature, but you can make it fly, shoot gold coins, or do anything else that would make your disliked thing more likable.
I have some other things that I am still trying to make friends with. But when it comes to pigeons, moths, and soup spoons, I am just pretty friggin’ intolerant.
Look how classy the Back Sniffer has become!
The Cute Back Sneakers
Little Susie is delighted to have captured a real live back sneaker!
“I’ve never been this close to one before,” she whispers to herself. Little does she know, an enormous cluster of the adorable beasts has colonized, ever so quietly, onto her back. Nobody knows why they are so compelled to sneak onto backs; but, having a mass lighter than popcorn yet slightly heavier than bubbles, they are certainly good at it.
The Terrifying Back Sneakers
Big Larry is texting and completely unaware of the elephant-sized monster sneaking behind his back. Although menacing, these giant back sneakers are just as harmless as their cute counterparts. Their only prerogative is to never be noticed by their clueless prey.
I think this here fellow might be getting close so he can (silently) lol at Larry’s outrageous text!
You were probably sneaked while you read this blog post.